Really Terrible Joke 2023

Not content with a normal prank, I strive to push the limits of bad April Fool’s puns:

Q: What’s the favorite snack of cryptographers and mathematicians?

A: PRNGles

This post is for entertainment purposes only. Any resemblance to actual priests, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Really Terrible Joke 2022

In observance of April Fool’s day, Here is another grievously bad pun:

Some friends tried to get me to join their D&D campaign. I said, no dice!

Really Terrible Joke 2021

April Fool’s Day is upon us once again, and it’s time for another groan-worthy pun:

I tried to transition into a career as a cyber-security professional, but I wasn’t able to develop the required skill set.

I just couldn’t hack it.

Really Terrible Joke 2020

Here’s an April Fool’s joke that would make my ancestors proud:

I never really understood the whole “grammar-versus-syntax” thing. But then my Grammar never drank or smoked, so the syntax never affected her.

Really Terrible Joke 2019

Happy April Fool’s day! Here’s this year’s awful joke:

Did you see the meme about the wet basement? It was dank!

I feel like I need to take a shower after typing that.

Really Terrible Joke 2018

Here’s a joke that’s every bit as good as a time-honored holiday like April Fool’s Day deserves:

I had trouble looking up my Baptismal records because the priest had written my name wrong.

It was a clerical error.

Oh, and happy Easter, too!

Really Terrible Joke 2017

In honor of April Fool’s Day, please enjoy the following horrible pun:

Thanks to the tipsy tech support guy’s slurred speech, I couldn’t understand the subnet mask he tried to give me.

I told him next time, go with the non-alcoholic CIDR.

(This makes more sense if you know what Classless Inter-Domain Routing is, but it isn’t any funnier.)

Really Terrible Joke 2016

Happy April Fool’s day! In lieu of a prank, here’s this year’s horrible pun:

Setting a world record by wrapping yourself in duct tape is possible, but it will be really hard to pull it off.

Really Terrible Joke 2015

Happy April Fool’s day! Here’s this year’s awful joke:

I replaced an ethernet cable with a live trout. I was expecting catastrophic results, but the worst it did was flip a bit.

Patriotism and Patriot Day

These are honey buns. Patriotic honey buns, if the box is to be believed. The obvious question here is, what is so patriotic about them? The answer is nothing, aside from the box featuring a flag, some stars, and the word “patriotic.” Even the individual wrappers don’t have anything special on them.

A less obvious but still relevant question would be, why do honey buns need to be patriotic? They are basically chewy bread products soaked with a sugary glaze. How would patriotism improve them? This is just one man’s opinion, but I believe that we should just let honey buns be honey buns.

I wanted to share this picture anyway, but considering the timing, I’d like to use it to lead into another point.

In the United States, September 11th of each year is a memorial to those who died in the terrorist attacks on that day in 2001. Usually I just hear it called by the date, like how Independence Day is commonly just called the Fourth of July, but it actually does have a name: According to the relevant Wikipedia article, the full name is “Patriot Day and National Day of Service and Remembrance,” but for short it’s just called Patriot Day.

I certainly don’t think there’s anything unusual, much less wrong, about having feelings of patriotism stirred up by the memory of an attack on the United States. Still, if it’s meant to be a memorial, I don’t see how patriotism improves it all that much. I’d rather just let the memorial be a memorial. There’s nothing wrong with love of country, but I don’t think it deserves top billing in the name of the day.